Purpose
by Damned-Like-Beauty
Summary: "I was certain that she would be here." His eyes whispered as he looked at the boat again before walking off. He walked for a long time all the way to where his camp was. Then he sat down and opened the letter.


Hello,

Please enjoy this short story about what happens when Fenris looses his Hawke and must find purpose again.

* * *

There was fear and then there was something else something more, a blinding purpose, a will to see those I was protecting safe, and to see the one I loved healed after my loss. Then I didn't remember anything for a while. It was like I was floating, only I wasn't; there was no weight to me I thought, and I was elsewhere, but I knew I was still in the fade. I flickered there for an eternity. Then memories came of a person that I loved more than life itself. Someone whom I had lived and breathed for, his eyes that stunning pale green that looked into my soul. That deep baritone laugh that tickled my spine and had me shivering at night. The broken man who had known the taste of oppression and grown beyond it into a man who could love, laugh and forgive. Would he forgive me? I had to know, I had to see, and so I did.

Moving in the Fade initially had taken some getting used to, but it quickly became as easy as walking had been, as thoughtless as breathing, though the farther I got from where I had started the harder it was for me to blink and be. I began having to walk. Leaning on my staff I knew that I was far from where I needed to be in order to see him. When I had left him I knew that he intended to stay near the Free Marches to hunt the slavers that were trying to take advantage of the chaos in order to rake in a profit. Fucking scavengers. We had been hunting them as they descended on my city, preying on my people, the people that I had sworn to protect and even though I had not saved them from Anders if I could save them from this, I would. Again, that purpose, that drive to right the wrong that I had committed, even unknowingly, it weighed on me that duty. With a flick of my mind I was off, headed in that direction.

On my way, I saw many things. I saw a dwarf who I knew named Varric. He was one of my closest friends and I remembered he was a true friend when it mattered. He was so sad, crying the only way he knew how, with a mug in his hand and letter half written. I saw a name at the top, "Fenris." That was it, that name, that was who I needed to find, but I knew that he was not here, that he would not be in this place. Then I was higher in this keep where a woman with flame colored hair attached a note to a black bird and whispered

"Find her, she knew them both maybe she can help. Maker carry you on swift wings and find her."

Then I was off again moving through the world but not interacting with it. I knew that Varric would be fine. He had a purpose with those people. I remembered that he had people there to build him up and help him. Fenris didn't, he was alone and I had to go to him I had to find a way to heal him. There were times that things hunted me and I had to flee or risk being hurt, then there were those rips in the world and somehow I knew that if I passed through them I would be corrupted and not able to complete my task. I can't tell you how I knew I just did; it would be wrong for me to pass though.

Finally, after what felt like forever, I made it to the coast. I knew it so well the Veil was thin here from all the death that had happened on these shores. Sprits of all kinds wandered here and most paid me no mind, the ones that did give chase did not catch me. Then I saw him looking out to the sea in the direction that I had sailed, looking out as if he were waiting for me. I tried to touch him but couldn't and then I saw it: a ship on the horizon. It was nothing special. A common trade ship, one of the many, that I had become accustomed to dealing with after my adventure in the Deep Roads. They often carried messages from me to the ones I had called friends and vice versa. The crew was sad and looked nervous as they docked and saw my love standing there waiting looking like Elgar'nan ready to meet out vengeance. They handed him a rolled up letter and walked off to unload their ships.

He clutched the letter in his spiked hands and did not move. He seemed frozen concerned that I was not there to greet him. Did he suspect that I would never come?

 _I was certain that she would be here._ His eyes whispered as he looked at the boat again before walking off. He walked for a long time all the way to where our camp was. Then he sat down and opened the letter. I could not bring myself to read it but I knelt in front of him watching those eyes as they moved back and forth reading the letter in Varric's shaking hand. He must have read it eight times before a scream of utter rage was wrenched from him. I had not heard this cry in so long. More than three years not since…not since he killed Hadriana. Not since that bitch of his sister betrayed him and then dropped that bomb on him. If his cry could have torn the stars from the sky they would have. It was a roar of rage, pain, anger, and fear.

"Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you." That is what he had said all those years ago in his mansion in High Town the one covered in broken bottles and smelling of the sour wine that his old master had loved so much. His living nightmare brought to life. He thrashed the camp…

Several days passed and I watched him as he hunted slavers, though butchered would have been a better description, washed up, returned to camp, ate, slept and repeated. He barely ate, and what he did eat was, while sustainable, questionable in nature. I tried to reach out several times and could not reach him. I tried to write in the sand, whisper in his ear, scream at him and even step into his dreams the few times he slept. Though if I was honest I was certain that he was not dreaming while he slept but experiencing the cold empty sleep of utter exhaustions. I railed and raged trying to find a way to comfort him, but what could I do? I was trapped. NO! There had to be a way, there was always a way.

Then the morning dawned and I felt it that ripple in the world that echoed my own heart, that feeling again sure unbroken purpose and determination. It was coming from the sea. The far end of that shore where the dock was. I raced down the shore. Languishing in Fenris' despair had weakened me made it harder and harder each day to move, but with this vibration in the world this feeling I felt awake for the first time in days. Then I saw it a stunning ship titled "Sirens Song II". Isabela she had come here. She looked to the hills squared her shoulders gave terse orders to the crew and began to hike.

She crested the hill a little over a couple hours later. Fenris was up and cooking something on the fire whatever it was it looked…scorched. I imagine is smelled rather bad too based on how Isabel wrinkled her nose at the smell. He looked up saw her and bared his teeth in a snarl that would have had a slaver running for his life. Isabela in classic rouge fashion was unfazed. She threw a bag at him that he caught on reflex.

"What's this?" he growled not taking his eyes off her before reaching into the bag

"A pit viper from the Antivan desert." she quipped

Pulling his hand out Fenris revealed a vibrant red apple that looked ripe and sweet. It was his favorite fruit I recalled and rather hard to come by this time of year if it was when I thought. He glared but did not make a move to throw it away or eat it he just peered into Isabela's eyes as if he could see into her soul. Much like he would when he was trying to figure out if she was bluffing at Wicked Grace, even though we all had known that she cheated.

Cautiously she picked her way past broken bottles discarded loot and the occasional weapon to come over and sit beside him.

"You're lucky I came when I did, if any self-respecting Raider came by this they would have killed you and taken everything just to teach you about brooding in the middle of nowhere with no one to watch your back." Her jab landed on deaf ears and she huffed

"Why are you here?" Fenris did not ordain to look at her as he inspected the apple in his palm. She blinked once twice and then a third time for good measure.

"I have a friend in the Inquisition did you know?"

"Yes I know Varric is there!" he snapped not looking at her as he threw Varric's letter in front of her. It landed face up and you could see the tearstains from both Varric and Fenris.

"No not our dear barrel chested story teller. The Blight had caused shipping to grind to a halt Raiders from all over saw a chance to get some profit I was in a little low life tavern called "The Pearl" when I met her. The Hero of Ferelden, was everything the stories say and more she and Zevran spent some time in my bed with one other, Leliana. The same Leliana that is now the spymaster for the Inquisition." She paused to look at him as if she realized in her nervousness she had rambled. While he looked disinterested he made no move to stop her as she moved on.

"We kept contact after that encounter all those years ago, she even looked me up when she came here to Kirkwall as 'Lady Nightingale'. It was just as good that night as the first though there was a little more space in the bed this time". A small smile played on her lips it was the secret smile of a woman who even now derived pleasure from the memories of that night.

"Is there a point to your prattle?" Fenris rumbled reaching the end of his already short patience. Snapping out of her memory Isabela continued

"Yes, she contacted me after…what happened to Mari. She told me everything and I came straight here, we all know how good you are at brooding." There was a sadness in her eyes when she said that name. With a start I realized that was MY name. A name I had no thought to remember or even hold on to.

"I don't need a babysitter!" he snapped whirling to face her

"No clearly you don't." she said with a pointed looked at the wrecked camp that clearly had seen better days

"What does it matter?" Fenris snapped to his feet pacing "She is gone and I could have stopped it."

"We both know that is a load of pig shit." Isabela snapped "No one was ever able to tell Hawke what to do even though we tried. She always had to fix things and be there for people, even though she hid her heart with whit and sarcasm you and I both know that it was a heart of true gold underneath, dinged and scratched but more than worth its weight in love and kindness."

"Don't tell me what I already know!" that was when he began to glow the stunning blueish white light creating an aura around, from my vantage standing behind him I could almost see the fire through him.

"Don't go all fireworks on me! This is not my fault or yours I am just here to help."

"Help with what exactly?" His tone, while cruel, was not as harsh as it had been a moment ago

She seemed to weigh her options and question her full motivations in that moment. I got the feeling that she had gotten that message from Leliana and raced here with no real plan. How like her. Step one: go to Fenris. Step two: say something to make it better. Step three: go on her merry way with profit? This was not going according to plan at all.

"Look, I don't know alright? I am just here to help just like I was there for Mari. I want to be here for you. Can't we just leave it at that?" she whispered the last part almost as if she were afraid.

Fenris weighed her response and turned away, taking a bite out of the apple, the sudden crunch causing her to jump.

"Do you want help hunting slavers today?" And just like that peace was made, a tentative peace but peace none the less.

"Right then! Well shall we get a camp set up right and proper before we go or do you want to get caught with your pants down, when the inevitable ambush comes?" her mischievous wink was anything but subtle and so like her that I think I smiled.

It was funny to watch them around each other; they fell into the same old habits that we had developed on our group outings. There was a rhythm to it. First thing in the morning, Isabela would sneak out of camp and heckle her crew over this, that or the other thing. Sometimes just bringing them on deck to tell them good morning then walk away. By the time she was done harassing them, Fenris would be just waking up to make breakfast for them both so that when she got back it was ready. He never asked where she went, and she never offered an explanation on how she had developed such extreme morning habits. He would usually go scour the coast for more slavers making land fall. Sometime Isabela went with, other times she joined her crew in hunting them on the waves. If Fenris noticed a reduction of slavers actually making landfall, he never commented on it. If Isabela didn't go with she would bring food from the ship and have a "hot meal" waiting, if not then they would scavenge field rations or occasionally fish or hunt really quick.

Finally, the tentative peace was broken. In all their conversations, they had never brought up the future or even the past. it was strict business talk or opinion conversations, even the occasional card game, but this evening was different. The crew was getting restless and Isabela knew it. Hunting slavers was all well and good and pretty standard fare for the boys and her, but there came a point where the same shore weighed on a crew, and a crew that was restless was a crew that was more trouble than it was worth.

"What is your plan Fenris?" she asked that night after they had eaten.

"I was thinking of heading to the south beach, we have not been there in a few days and…" she cut him off

"That is not what I meant and you know it! What is your plan other than guard dogging this coast until the end of Maker knows when? You can't stay on this shore forever, and even if you could, the slavers always get wise, and when they do, they will just move on and pick a new hunting ground; will you chase your tail until the end of time?" He stared at her for a long moment

"It is as good a life as any." Was his only response.

"Bullshit." Was her snapped reply. She had been getting frustrated with his lack of emotion, well greater lack of emotion?

"If you want to go and sail the seas with your crew I am not stopping you. I didn't ask you to come here. You are free to leave at any time of your choosing." He truly did not seem to care, but I knew he was lying. I knew that look. He was lonely and he had missed the witty Pirate Queen as much as I had. Her charm, he said, was that she never beat about the bush and spoke her mind, all while making you laugh. He had once confessed to me that my sarcasm had been one of the few comforts he had his first 3 years here in Kirkwall.

"You don't want me to leave." She purred shifting closer with her cat like grace "If I leave who will you torture with your morning cooking that is more charcoal than food?"

He glared at her trying to decipher the sudden change in tone and tactic. Shifting uneasily Fenris looked back into the flames.

"Remember when I came over to your squat in High Town after that nastiness at the Hanged Man? I offered you a place on my crew then, even though you so kindly pointed out I did not have a ship? Well I have a ship now. The offer still stands. Come sail with me and the boys. We are doing some work for the Inquisition, the pay is good and best of all you get to knock around baddies pretending to be a hero. We even hunt slavers." Her smile was almost feline.

"Why would I help the person that sacrificed Mari?" If I could have had goose bumps, I would have. His anger was a living thing on his skin and face. He was not glowing but he was clearly upset.

"That is not how it went down! Mari insisted on staying. You know what Anders did never sat well with her, and she blamed herself for helping him gather the ingredients and sneak them into the Chantry. She never would have condoned what he did and she lived with a purpose to make up for it even though she never meant to cause harm. This was her chance to fulfil that purpose and make something right. They gave the Grey Wardens a chance to redeem themselves with a strong leader who had seen the worst of them and was still fighting. The Inquisitor had a damn hard call to make and did the best they could under the circumstances." She was breathless when she was done having not taken a breath while speaking for fear of him interrupting.

"I suppose the fact that the Inquisitor is a mage does not bother you? That they have sided with the mages basically giving any mage an opportunity to do whatever they want and not face punishment. The Inquisition is probably rampant with blood mages and abominations. It will not stand, mark my words someone will tear it down and what will you do then?" his accusations stung. Had he learned nothing over the last 9 years? Had my use of magic really done nothing to assuage his hatred? Had be just swallowed it for the pleasure of having me in his bed?

Doubt. That was doubt creeping through my limbs, making them heavy and sluggish as I tried to move closer to him. I wanted to scream that not all mages are bad, that Anders and the Orsino were wrong, that they were not the true reflection of all mages.

"How dare you spit on Mari's memory like that! You are better than this! How dare you say all mages are bad when she was the best of them and opened her heart to you even after your blatant, unchecked hatred to all magic. Dealing with you saying magic tainted everything in your life even as you took a mage to your bed that very evening. It was her magic that helped you recall your past, her love and magic that helped ease the pain you felt everyday from those tattoos! She did everything for you that she could, healing you after battle, using magic to fix your home when you were to lazy or too busy being miserable to fix it yourself, and bringing beauty everywhere she went even though was an apostate, and could be locked up any second, she helped anyone who came to her door day or night! She lived with the threat of being locked in a cage for something she did not choose to take on but was BORN WITH, and bore it with grace up until the end. You say all men should be free but when someone makes an effort to make that so and free the people that are locked in cages from birth, you disparage them for daring to want more, assuming they are all bad people. Let me remind you, all humans are capable of great good and great evil, magic just makes it more apparent to some than others, for it is a servant purely neutral. If this is how you honor her memory, you didn't deserve to have her and I should have kept her when I had the chance!" Panting Isabela clamped her hand over her mouth looking like a child that had just said a bad word in front of their parent, and knew they were in trouble.

"What did you say?" there was fury there, cold unforgiving fury like a late spring blizzard that soaks then freezes everything decimating crops, animals, and people. Fenris and I had never spoken of the time that Isabela and I slept together at length though he knew it had happened. I had told him it was a one-time thing and it had been before he and I slept together, which was true, but years later Isabela and I had talked and she had admitted that sometimes she wondered what if. I had thought nothing of it and assumed that she was trying to have a threesome which was not outside of her normal drunken propositions. Could it have been something more? She was my best friend in the whole world after Varric. I thought I was hers, but could she have fallen in love only to find out too late. No, that wasn't like her. She was not a woman of regret, but purpose. I could feel the purpose in her, but for the first time I questioned what it could be.

"I should go." Isabell turned to run but Fenris caught her shoulder just barely whirling her around to face him catching her other shoulder.

"Explain yourself!" he shook her his eyes demanding answers, but there were tears in his eyes and hers I realized. Isabela shook her head but Fenris only gripped her tighter bruising her skin no doubt.

"I loved her too! Alright! I loved her, and I pushed her away because I was afraid. Then you came along but she stuck it out with you, she fought for you in a way she didn't with me. Maybe because she knew I could make my way without her. It hurt and I was insanely jealous which is why I started being around you more and more. I wanted to see what she saw in you. Then I did. It was your drive and determination, the way you looked at her in a way that no one, not even I, did. I started to see the passion that you had for her and the love, but your hatred of magic? It tore at her. She worked so hard to not be what everything in this blighted town thought of when they thought apostate mage. I think she hopped if she could change your perception of mages she could change the worlds. Would you have even sided with her against the Templars that day if you had not been in love with her?"

Fenris appeared frozen at her revelations. There was so much to process all at once. Isabella had just confessed to loving me, the woman that Fenris loved above all others, and he was the jealous type unlike her. Then in the next breath she had confessed to jealousy when she was known to have multiple partners at a time sometimes in the same night. A jealousy that it sounded like lead her to having a crush on Fenris at the same time that she had developed deeper love for me, and a righteous indignation towards Fenris' unintentional attacks towards me via his treatment of mages. Then she had left hooked him with questions I had never even thought of. I was standing next to them now looking between them, left then right, dark caramel skin to a pale tan, black hair to white, and green eyes to burned gold, both sets filled with unshed tears and raw, unchecked emotion.

"Would you have Fenris? Would you have saved our Mari even if you did not know her so well? Would you have snuffed out her delicate light not knowing it was there under her skin waiting to heal all those she touched?" She pulled away and walked off leaving him shaking staring after her.

I didn't not move to follow either I just watched. He just seemed lost.

"Is that what I did Mari?" I jumped and looked around then back at him. He was not looking at me but after her. "Did I hurt you every time I said those things, was who I am that wrong for you, but you endured it because you loved me and saw something good in me? I knew I did not deserve you, but that fact that Isabela sees it too, what does it all mean?" I had never seen him talk to himself though it did not surprise me. What else had he done those years that he lived alone, and did not really interact with anyone?

"You sent me away and said that you would rather be alone, when your mother died, was it because you thought I would rub it in?" his eyes were sad. "I have been lonely without you here Mari. Isabela has helped that, she reminds me of you. She has whit and cares for those she deems hers and she doesn't let me languish too much. I can see why you chose to keep her as a friend even after…what should I do?" He had been glowing brighter and brighter during this getting more and more upset. I took a few steps forward as if to follow Isabela. She was good for him and seemed to be needing him as much as he needed her. If it were about sex again it would be clear but she was hurting and turned to a person she trusted, and for some Maker only knew reason, it was him.

"Mari?" his tone had changed I looked back and he was looking at me truly at me. I stepped back moving towards the way Isabella had gone. "Wait! Is it truly you?" but I kept backing away this would not help him. This would hurt him. If he thought I was alive, he would throw his life away to find me. I took two more steps back and once I was outside the glow of his tattoos he called out.

"MARI!" he went to chase me that was when I knew what I had to do, his chance at a future was not with me. I had died. Truly died. I was not fully myself but like the Divine I was other. I was a Spirit of Purpose now and my purpose was to ensure that Fenris lived a life outside of me. A HAPPY life. I turned and ran making sure to stay just outside of his full light so that he could not fully see me but make out my outline. I did not move without taking every step, I ran as fast as I could we had to catch Isabella before she made it to the ship. If she made it, she would run from her emotions again and never face him. The one time I looked back to make sure he followed I pointed to where I knew the ship was docked. All his breath was taken in his dead sprint to keep up. Then I heard it. The grunt and pants of…combat? Was Isabella in trouble?

We crested the hill and there she was, out numbered ten to one, bleeding, and out of options, her daggers broken in the sand. One of them raised a set of shackles.

"This one will make a fine contribution to the gladiatorial pits." The slaver purred even as she fought the men reaching to grab her. Fenris blew past me not even seeing me now, his Blade of Mercy in hand. They did not see him coming. His first swing took out the one with shackles in his hand, the next the two that were reaching for her. The rest now aware they were under attack, raised their bows and swords to fight him off, but he was too close and too powerful. They all fell under his blade like a farmer reaping wheat with a scythe. I raced past the battle staying clear of his light just in case he could still see me. The ship was out of sight but it was the closest thing to here, and surely she would have a medic, maybe even a mage healer. The fighting died down, then stopped. The men were dead. I looked at Isabela; her right arm was clearly broken and her leg was bleeding badly. This was not ideal but she had a solid shot of living IF the ship was there.

"Isabela?" Fenris knelt by her and tied her wound off with one of the dead men's shirts. He quickly splinted her arm against her body to keep it from being jostled. Evidently, mine and Anders work at teaching the group first aid had stuck. She did not complain as he lifted her in his arms. She was not fighting but she was not fully aware it seemed, if the swelling on the side of her head was any sign she might have a concussion.

"Mari? Do you know where her ship is?" I stepped closer and realized he was wounded as well. He had taken an arrow to the side. It was a graze, and not life threatening, but painful and draining. I stepped into the light just enough for him to see my vague outline, but the veil was stronger and I did not think he could see me. I got right in front of him but he could not see me.

"Isabela!" He shook her gently "Where is your ship?" his voice held a note of worry

"Little Bunny Dock." She murmured pointing through my body to the ship behind me on the other side of the bend. Fenris' light had faded completely now and I could barely see their faces.

"Hold on." Fenris took off at a run not breaking stride even though sweat covered him and his eyes glazed with pain.

"I can't believe those idiots got the jump on me. I should have seen that leg trap from a mile away." Her speech was weak but she was fighting. "Some rogue I am can't even spot the most obvious trap in the history of anywhere." Fenris panted but didn't respond beyond a chuckle.

"Did you ask Mari where my ship was?" Isabella asked eyes clearing for a second

"I can explain." Was his only response

"I am waiting." She quipped

"I was looking out to where you had gone and I thought I saw her. Then she took off running the direction you had gone. Next thing I know, I cresting a hill she vanishes and all I see is them preparing to take you away." He stopped looking down at her

"Well you have finally lost your marbles…" Suddenly her head slumped as if she were asleep and Fenris swore calling her name and began running faster.

By the time he reached the tiny, one berth dock where the ship was, he had gotten her to mumble the occasional incoherent word but that was all. I followed them the whole way hoping, praying that she was alright. I could not touch her, I could not help her, all I could do was watch and that killed me.

As he ran up the dock someone called out then another, the gilded lettering of the Sirens Song II gleaming in the fire light. In the chaos of shouts, I made out.

"Captain! Someone get Reg!" I recognized the first mate's voice as he shouted orders. Soon Isabella and Fenris were below deck in the Medics quarters I assumed based on the layout and the bottles. A short thin girl no older than 19 had her hands hovering over the bump on Isabela's head.

"It is a good thing you got her here as fast as you did. There is a lot of damage here, more than it looked from the outside." The girl's ruby magic poured into Isabela's skull like her head was a cup that would not fill.

"Just hurry up ma…medic." The stall out caught my eye. Fenris had been about to say mage and stopped…Just stopped and switched to medic. The girl finished and then bustled about the cabin getting a proper splint and needle and thread to stitch her captain up.

"I am not a very strong mage so I will not be able to heal all of this at once. It will take time. This will hold her together while I get you patched up, regain my strength and continue healing her." She paused looking at Fenris he did not respond.

"You are Fenris right?" Rowan inquired her girlish eyes full of curiosity "You are the Campion of Kirkwall's lover? The Tevinter slave you killed his master, and now hunts slavers all around Kirkwall?" her eyes were full of wonder.

"I am." He did not even correct the girl's incorrect verb tense. She had not even brought up the tattoos even though they were evident.

"Captain saved me from a slave ship, I don't know what they wanted of me but when she found out I had magic, she offered to drop me off at the nearest port but I refused. I told her I wanted to heal her and her crew and hunt slavers too! Mama taught me how to heal when I was very young. She said, 'Magic must be used to serve our fellow man. We have a responsibility to do good with our gift, do that Reg. Do good with our gift.' That was right before they took her to a Circle for being an apostate." The girl rambled on about how her older sister had hidden her in a cave while the Templars searched for her. Never finding her, she traveled with her sister for a while. They had trusted the wrong person and ended up below a slavers boot. Her sister died of infection just before Isabella found her. That had been almost 2 years ago now. By the time the girl was done she had finished with Isabella and was just cleaning her hands.

"You should let me patch you up, if you will let me. I know you don't like magic, but at least let me clean it and put some stiches in so that it does not get infected." Her eyes were serious as she looked at him. Fenris looked her in the eyes, seeming to weigh all that she had said as well as her clear knowledge of medicine. Isabela's leg was perfectly stitched and her arm set.

"Thank you I would appreciate your aid." She nodded gravely as if accepting he had given her a gift instead of consenting to let her work on him. She got clean tools and cleaned her hands before beginning.

"I am sorry about your loss. I was in the city when the Qun attacked and heard the stories afterwards. The Champion was an inspiration to all mages. She showed what we could be if we rose above the worst of us and served her fellow man. I think my Mama would have approved of her." Fenris blinked looking at the girl.

"Her name was Mari, honor her memory in all you do young mage." The girl beamed and got to work.

It was serval days before Isabela was fully up and about. Young Reg, while skilled, was not strong and refused to use any potions to supplement her power. Her work with her hands was flawless though, and her potion craft, according to the crew, was second to none. In the time it took Reg to heal the Captain, the crew had doted on Isabela, not leaving her alone for a single second. It was frustrating for Fenris as he seemed desperate to talk to her, but did not want to intrude. However, the crew refused to let him leave the ship until the Captain was well. Fenris tolerated it, he even told one man that he would have expected nothing less from a crew that clearly cared for the Captain the way that the crew cared for Isabela.

The evening of the 5th day, Reg used the last of her magic to heal Fenris fully and remove the stiches she had put in him.

"Captain wants to see you in her cabin, she says that I am to escort you so you don't pull no disappearing act." The girl giggled at her imitation of Isabela. I had noticed that she had grown on Fenris each day. He followed her without complaint to the Captains Quarters. Reg knocked, let him in, and closed the door behind him.

"You know what the worst thing is about breaking a limb? It always feels wrong the first few days after it is healed, like the body does not know how to take the damage being healed so quickly." Isabela was throwing daggers at a target on the wall, stretching her arm after each throw as if testing to make sure that it was still whole. "We are getting too old to keep breaking things." She went on. "There was an old sea dog in Rivain what said the body totals up everything that you have done to it when you hit 40 and hands you a bill demanding repayment in the form on pain and suffering." She smiled and looked at him.

"I am glad to see that you are up and about." a simple response, but his voice was tight with something.

"Fenris, I am sorry for what I said, it was out of line and unfair." I blinked, Fenris blinked, and I am pretty sure Reg on the other side of door where she was listening blinked twice for good measure.

"Mari made her choice to be with you and I respected that and still do, I just am not good with feelings like love or well any of them besides lust. However, I do feel that some of what you said and did was inherently unfair, but if Mari was not bothered enough to call you on it, then it was not my place to do so shortly after her death." She paused and Fenris cut in

"No, you were right. I don't know what I saw that led me to you but if it was Mari… it made me think these last few days and you were absolutely right. There were horrible things that I did to Hawke by proxy because of my inability to see past something people cannot control. Everything from preventing her from fully trusting me to possibly putting herself in danger just to avoid my unfair judgment." He looked eyes guilty and his tone was ashamed as was his posture.

"I think I have found a purpose these last few days. Your crew is strong but they could use a warrior to help them stand their ground in a tougher fight. I am happy to lend a hand teaching them and supporting your missions for the Inquisition." Isabela blinked, I blinked, Reg cheered and Fenris smiled.

"I have not accepted his proposal Reg and unless you want to be swabbing the deck until you're as old as my Grandma's knickers you will stop eaves dropping!" There was a squeak and scampering feet.

"Now then about your generous offer…" Isabela smiled and sat down on top of her desk as irreverent as a cat.

It was about a week later that Isabela and her crew had all necessary items ready to go. I followed Fenris back to the camp he had abandoned. He had collected a few items and buried the rest in a cache. He still wore my red hair ribbon he had stolen that first night and the crest of my mother's house. Though I had noticed he did not fiddle with them nearly as much as he used to. Then he spoke.

"Hawke I don't know if it is really you or a figment of my imagination that lead me to Isabella that night, but thank you. I will always love and miss you, but I think I have a purpose now, if I can help this Inquisition bring order to a world torn asunder by mages that do not hold to the values you did then I can die happy. I will honor your memory and judge mages by who they truly are and not by the fact they have magic." He set a flower on the place where our tent had been.

"Talking to yourself again?" Isabela stepped up so that she was on my left and he was on my right.

"I was just…" he stalled out

"I know…I feel her too. I don't know if it was her or not but that night when I was in the Medical Cabin, I thought I saw her too just for a moment. I think she will always be with us but she would want us to live, fight the good fight, and get laid." Isabela smiled and I chuckled feeling a sense of completion wash over me. They turned to leave and I felt no need to follow any longer.

The last thing I saw was Isabela reaching out and placing a hand on Fenris's shoulder and him covering it with his own hand, as they walked away to the ship and their new adventure.

* * *

Please Review and thank you for stopping by!

Gods all Bless!

-DLB


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